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Monday, March 10, 2014

Day Six of Lent

In my attempts to better understand the Catholic faith and my own journey converting, I'll be spending this Lent doing a daily reflection of things I've learned. The faith encourages reflections on subjects like this (even the Pope reflects!) so I figure I'll reflect through writing. As always, my understanding of this is noobish so forgive any wrong conclusions and do feel free to correct me where needed. Here we go.

Today, the focus of the blackbook was on three questions (after verses from the Bible focusing on Jesus' last day), each kinda disturbing in it's own way. Let's take a look at them and my answers to them, one by one.

1. How shall I die?

Yeah, it's an actual question. Over the years (yes, years I've been doing this) this question has come up a few times but I don't have any different answer now then I did then. I don't how I'll die for sure, but I strongly suspect it won't be boring. I've done a lot of dumb things in my life that should have killed me.

I'm still standing here which means my death isn't going to be one of those that premieres on "1001 Ways to Die" nor will it be lauded for years to come as something so anal no one would dare try to do it again.

My death is going to be unique. Something very me. What that exactly means is unknown ... I hope, however I die, it's in service of a greater cause than my own. I'd hate to die while doing something strictly for my own purposes because that'd be an empty death.

2. How will my friends and family react?

Hmm. I don't know. The obvious answer here is "Oh, they'll be so sad!" but I honestly don't know. As I've said before and I'll say again, there's nothing really great I bring to the table here. Nothing wholly unique that can't be replaced by someone else.

I think they'll miss me. I don't know what my marital/family status will be at the time of death, but if I do happen to have a wife/kids I hope they miss me. That's really the least you can ask for in death is that you'll be missed.

I don't necessarily know if I want to be remembered any certain way. My life is various shades of strange ... I don't know that there's really any one way to remember me other than "Weird" which is the most used word in describing me.

Will there be a funeral? If I have my way, no. I don't want a sad procession of tears and mourning. I'd like a party where people enjoy some of my favorite things (like cheesecake and ham and cheese) while laughing at my Internet presence (I imagine my Facebook will still be going). Exchanging stories and having a blast ... maybe trying to beat my high-score on a few games. Fun, really.

I just want to be missed. At least if I'm missed, I'll know I did something.

3. What will it be like to meet the Lord?

I don't know. Streets paved with gold? A city in the clouds? Rainbows and unicorns? What can I say?

Focusing on the strict interpersonal communication between myself and God the first time I meet him, I'll obviously be pretty nervous and speaking might be hard for the first minute or so. But I have a few bones to pick with him and, as everyone knows, my ability to rant is unparalleled.

So, meeting the Lord that first time will be a mixture of trepidation and blasphemous rants. I want answers and there's literally no reason left at that point not to get them. I'm in Heaven. If I can't get the answers there where else can I get them?

Thanks for reading, folks. God Bless. 

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