In my attempts to better understand the Catholic faith and my own journey converting, I'll be spending this Lent doing a daily reflection of things I've learned. The faith encourages reflections on subjects like this (even the Pope reflects!) so I figure I'll reflect through writing. As always, my understanding of this is noobish so forgive any wrong conclusions and do feel free to correct me where needed. Here we go.
Today in the blackbook, the author busted out Matthew 26:20-22, where Jesus tells the disciples at the Passover meal that one of them will betray him. Each disciple in turn asks, "Surely, not I, Lord?"
The author encourages us to ask something similar: "Lord, how am I doing?"
It's a pretty open-ended question with vaguely defined parameters. I hate those. How am I doing ... in what, exactly?
I imagine the focus is spiritual but my mind couldn't help but jump to other focuses first. How am I doing with my health? Winter saw me gain weight (that sucks) and Spring will see me lose it and more (if I do it right, which is awesome). I haven't been sick. I haven't really even been slightly ill. I'm in good shape and getting in better shape every day.
How am I doing with my life? Things are chaotic, as usual. People I care about are worrying me with the stuff happening to them. I'm progressing, slowly, on my goals. I still can't claim to have a steady relationship with a girl ... or any relationship with a girl, at least in a romantic sense. I'm going to be 26 in October (seriously, that hit me tonight and just ... wow. Life is strange) and I'm looking forward to cheesecake. Maybe some bowling.
There were a lot of parameters I could have attached to this question, but the focus is definitely one that's on the spiritual side of things. The fact the spiritual side of things entered into the equation at number three isn't super-good (optimally you want it first) but being at number three isn't bad.
How am I doing, Lord, spiritually? I'm confused, as usual, on what you have planned for me. I'm converting to an entirely new faith and doing it on my own accord until I can get into an RCIA class next fall. I'm neck deep with a great group of young Catholics who have accepted me for the weird headcase I am. I go to Mass. I lector. I like it.
My feeling, in asking this question and thinking on it all day long, is that the Lord is pretty all right with me at the moment. We seem to be on the same page which is strange because we're usually not. But things I thought were merely hypothetical months ago are gonna be reality soon.
I'm better off now. I've learned. I've grown. I've done some things I never thought I could or would do.
Progress has been made and progress is good, in my experience.
Thanks for reading, folks. God Bless.