I've been getting a lot of compliments over the past few months and the main reason for that is the weight I've lost. I weigh 64 pounds less and that's great...but it seems when people compliment me they think what I am now is the finished product. Sure, weighing 203 as opposed to 266/267 is great, but is it really such a huge victory?
In my mind I don't think it is. I suppose it's because I'm fixated on the idea that anything over 200 is bad. I've been 200+ for so many years now that I just can't afford to relax and say to myself "You rock for being 203!" when frankly I don't rock. I should have never gotten to 267 in the first place.
So when people compliment me on how I look and how much weight I've lost, I appreciate it, I really do...but it seems kind of premature to me. I mean, 203 is not the end; 203 ain't close to the end. I want to be down to 180 and below sooner rather than later. So being complimented on 203 registers on my radar but doesn't really have any long term effect.
I mean, seriously, what's in a compliment anyway? I've been receiving plenty of them lately. Problem is, I've been getting them from people who've never complimented me on my looks EVER. Why bother complimenting me now when before it didn't matter? It never mattered to me before.
I guess it's guilt maybe? Or there attempts at being nice? Or maybe making up for old times? I don't know. I just know that as far as the looks department goes, I've pretty much been in the same spot for well over a decade. "Nice guy, but..."
I mean, seriously, when you give out compliments to someone whom you've never really taken in interest in complimenting before, do you really mean it? I'll be frank, I usually don't. Most of the time it's just saying something positive to move the conversation on. If this is my thought process, I imagine I'm not far off from anyone else.
Hence the reason why I take pretty much every compliment that comes from someone other than a friend rather lightly. Sure, it's nice, but it can't mean that much. The compliments from friends I even take lighter than I should, simply because I don't want to get too relaxed; if I get relaxed, I get sloppy and things start going badly.
Hence why I can't afford to take most of the compliments about my weight and looks that seriously; I could get relaxed, take things easy, and pay for it severely. I wish that the onslaught of compliments actually were all meaningful but I just can't see that being the case. Most of the people don't mean it and it's made me jaded. The fact that I've never received this many compliments about my looks and weight before has also made me jaded.
Is it right? Probably not. I've been wrong before and had to admit it; I likely am now. Maybe I should think better of people and take their compliments at face value. Then again, I know my own though processes...and they say "Most of them are just saying it to be nice. They don't count, so don't really put any stock in them."
At the end of the day, as a dear friend once told me, I shouldn't be losing weight and getting healthier for any other reason than that I want to. I shouldn't be doing it for anyone else but me. And that's true in a lot of other areas beside weight loss. So, with that said, I'll just keep on plugging away at getting below 200 (hopefully before Christmas but at the latest before New Years) and I'll keep accepting the compliments as they come.
Will I find any true meaning in most of them? Probably not.
As always, any and all comments are welcome. Hope you enjoyed.