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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Ruminations on Online Dating

So, a few days back, I joined an online dating site. First, let me state how pissed I was that it had come to this. Online dating seems like admitting failure and, frankly, feels like it is failure. Failure to be brave enough to be social or failure at succeeding. It sucked but I joined.

I was quite surprised to find how easy it was to get lost in it. I mean, it's really easy. So, a few days later, here are my observations on things so far.

1. It's not about failure

Immediately upon joining and filling out my profile (which required 1000 words and I blew that out of the water by a lot), I started browsing around. Some of the profiles were really, really poorly written. All right, a lot of them were, but the one thing that almost all had in common was that the online dating things was new for them. It was a different way to approach things.

I have felt, and still kinda feel, that online dating is a sure sign of weakness and a complete waste of time. What great romances started with an IM chat? The hopeless romantic in me, the old school, hates this. But the pragmatic side of me is grasping at straws. Short of some sort of intervention via drugs, therapy, God, or a combination of all three, I'm not going to be able to unfreeze around pretty women.

Not unless I know them. I know plenty of pretty women and I'm friends with quite a few of them. But they're not someone I'm pursuing romantically (most are already taken) and so there's no threat of rejection there. I don't freeze around them.

I think the approach a close friend of mine suggested at least a year ago (if not two) was right ... said suggestion being that I should consider online dating because I'm more comfortable with a keyboard than across a coffee table from a pretty face, at least in the 'get to know you' stage.

2. Myspace sluts are here

We all remember the Myspace sluts. Those girls that were there only for the sex and the good time and their pictures left little to be imagined. Those girls are back. It's sad, really, as a lot of them are quite pretty but their profiles are poorly written (even my poorly written standards) and they pretty much scream 'let's screw!'.

3. The match questions are really concerned about sex .... all kinds of sex

The many, many, match questions you can answer about sex range from "Are you a virgin?" to "What kind of anal sex would you prefer?"

Seriously. It's that bad. And it gets worse, but I'll spare you. I've stated multiple times that I'm a virgin and shall remain so till marriage. The site's various questions are really slanted towards sex, though, which leads me to believe hookups are very common here.

Just like in college, apparently.

4. Writing quality varies in extremes

Some of the profiles are actually quite well-written. Some of them are horrors to the eyes that make me want to unleash a hellstorm on whomever wrote it because, damn, you're in you 20s! Can't you spend a little time and effort fixing it up? Get someone with better writing skills to edit it for you?

The profiles that are well-written are gems. Being well-written is a big plus.

5. So few Trek fans

The various women I've looked at and messaged are not Trek fans. Doctor Who fans, but not Trek. I like Who, don't get me wrong, but I love Trek. I have yet to find one who is a Trek fan and doesn't have some sort of dealbreaker otherwise.

That's all the ruminations I have so far. I'll let you guys know more of my thoughts when I have them. Thanks for reading, folks.

1 comment:

  1. Over 25 years ago, my personal ad said something very similar to this.

    SWF, 20s, blonde, seeks SM, 20 - 35, for fun romance. I love everything from Mozart to 10,000 Maniacs and Bosche to the beach. So send me a note, photo optional but nice, and tell me how we'd spend our second date.

    The 25th anniversary of meeting Mr. j will be on December 18th of this year.