It's been awhile since I've blogged and that's on me, but this isn't a post about the various reasons why I've been remiss in my blogging but rather a post about a subject that I-and others-are struggling with every day. That subject is what we perceive, as a society, as attractive. Take a moment here to prepare yourself for the rant to come. Ready? You sure? All right, let's go.
Over the past 10 weeks or so I've been attempting to get my Body Fat percentage down to 14%. Why? Simply because at 14% is where the majority of people see the gut, usually the last place to lose fat, disappear. I want my gut to disappear and be banished forever. I hate my gut. It, to me, is the last remnant of my former overweight nearly 300 pounds lifestyle. I want it gone. I want it destroyed. I want it, in the simplest of terms, to be dead. Not comic book dead (where anyone can come back to life) but super, real life, dead.
It's a personal issue to me and one that I've focused a lot on over the past 10 weeks. Why is this so personal? Simply put, I don't consider myself attractive. Yes, I can see you rolling your eyes and thinking "OMG, this is such a girl subject" but folks, it's not simply limited to one gender or the other. This affects everyone from little kids to the oldest of adults.
It affects me, I'll own up to that (as much as I really don't want to) but it's the truth. I don't consider myself attractive and it's because...well, I never have been as far as I can recall (not counting the cute kid stage). I'm on of those people that after 9 or so, things just fell off a cliff. Bad health choices, bad food, lack of exercise and lack of motivation landed me in the 270s as of this time last year. My self image was not good. I was in a constant state of denial.
And I'm pretty sure, to some extent, I still am. On one hand I can look in the mirror and be happy with myself and the progress made (120 pounds down as of today in 10 months time from 266 pounds). On the other hand I see things I don't like about myself that have always been there-mainly, the gut. I can't for the life of me seem to make it go away even after 10 weeks of trying. I'm not giving up by any means but I am saying that's it's discouraging to say the least.
You know what doesn't help? All those commercials and ads out there that show those awesomely studly six pack flashing guys hawking workout equipment, beach stuff, shampoo, and what have you. It's not reality. It's not like these people are everywhere, every day, out on the street common place as a penny on the road. These guys are not that common place.
They're around, sure, but for the most part American men don't fall into the studly six pack flashing guy category. I know this. The rational side of me acknowledges and accepts this fact. That should be enough except the irrational side of me does not accept this fact.
The irrational side of me continual feeds my self-doubt with one word; competition. "Look at the competition," it says to me when I see those six pack flashing dudes, "look at them and know you don't match up. You can't match up, not in your current state...you have to do more. You have to be more."
And so I come away with the idea that I can't match up because my irrational side is clever. It uses all those years of me being unhealthy and overweight against me; it overpowers my logic with emotion and leaves me discouraged at the very least.
You know what? It ain't just me feeling this way either. A lot of people of late have been bringing up the ever increasing issue of self-image difficulties. They're unhappy with it due to various reasons like their spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend getting caught taking a quick peek at a supposedly more attractive thing nearby. Some even feel as though they really just outright failed themselves with how badly things have gotten when, in reality, it really isn't that bad.
According to a few people I know I should have "no problem" getting a date or otherwise enjoying the fine company of a girl. I scoff at this notion because I know me-I have a warped self-image of myself. The negatives outweigh the positives and that's simply because the negatives have well over a decade's worth of material over the relatively new positive physical aspects of myself.
That's just plain irritating and, again, discouraging. I place a lot of emphasis on the gut...on how unattractive and detrimental it is to my overall appeal. In truth, it's more likely that the gut has some impact, but not nearly the amount I place on it to my overall appeal. The warped self-image and lack of confidence probably has more to do with lowering my overall appeal than anything else. Rationally, I get this.
Irrationally, I focus all my hatred on the gut. It's a strange and funky dichotomy but one that isn't uncommon to me.
Why isn't it uncommon? Because society, America in general, has a warped idea of what is attractive. Look at the commercials on TV, the ads in the paper, on the internet, and the posters for the various movies out this summer. What does it all have in common? There's at least one dude and one gal on there that match society's idea of attractive. The girl with the shapely, trim body and the guy with the good jaw and chiseled six-pack.
Is it any wonder people just let themselves go? Body image is majorly important to our psyche. If we feel good about our body than we feel better about ourselves, leading to more self-confidence and more motivation. If we don't than the opposite happens, we feel worse about ourselves as our self-confidence and motivation erodes into nothingness.
One of the main contributing factors to Americas obesity epidemic is the warped body image our society promotes. It isn't as normal or common place as you'd like to believe in most parts of the country (not counting you California or parts of Florida). You think people in Alaska are rolling with six pack abs? No. They're more likely to go out of the house with a six pack of beer than abs. So many people aim for this warped standard, for these amazing bodies,
and a lot don't get there. They feel like they failed and then they
decide to not care anymore. "Hello obesity epidemic, come right in,"
they say and that's sad.
We promote these warped body images, telling girls you have to be trim and look great in a bikini to hook a decent fella when it's not true. We tell guys you got to be rolling with those six-pack abs and great tan to hook a decent girl when, again, it's not true. It doesn't work like that.
I'm not saying physical attraction doesn't play a role, it does but not nearly at the level that our society says it does. Just because you looked like a Olympian God at 20 doesn't mean you will at 40-it's likely you won't. Physical attraction is the beginning of any relationship between people; it's the bait, the hook, the "oh that look's interesting" shiny thing in Walmart that you know you don't need but you're curious about anyway.
Our society in promoting these warped self images would like you to believe that the physical attraction is what makes or breaks a relationship-if you let yourself get ugly than you're gonna be alone, miserable, and unfulfilled the rest of your life. It doesn't work like that.
Yet, we believe this the truth. Many of us do and to some extent, so do I. I wouldn't be trying to lose the gut if I didn't think it would help with the ladies, that's a fact. I know, rationally, that my perception on this is warped beyond reason but the thing is so is everyone's. It's a great lie that many in our society believe...and I don't see it ending anytime soon.
Being attractive to a person in a physical sense is important, yes, but more important is being attractive to them in other ways-with your character, your personality, your understanding, your skills, ect. Those other ways are going to last far long than any physical attractiveness you have and they'll carry you far longer than those physical things.
Problem is, most of us are just to asinine too see that and be comfortable in our own skins. We get suckered into believing society's idea of attractive and we strive for it, desperately, and many will never reach it. I will never have a six-pack of abs, a chiseled jaw, a full body tan, and a pair of gleaming white teeth. All I want is the gut gone.
And that's probably pretty asinine too.
Thanks for reading, have a good day folks.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Running Observations
Today I took to the great outdoors to do some walking/jogging/running and to enjoy the great weather. I decided to go all the way to Walmart, nearly four miles away from my house. As I took to the streets, lawns, and highways (crossing those were a thrill ride) I noticed a few things.
1. Old Ladies Rock: As I was running in the downtown area today I got stopped by two old ladies out exercising. Both of them told me to get my butt back to school and to stop playing hooky. As you can imagine, I was kind of floored by that but my baby face, it does make me look like a high schooler. After explaining to the ladies that I was in fact five years removed from high school (they didn't believe me at first, took some convincing) and that I was out exercising, they apologized.
Nevertheless, I was quite impressed by the two old gals. Most people when they see a high schooler playing hooky wouldn't call them out but these old ladies aren't most people. Kids need to be in school and I'm glad there are still folks around that see that, even if most don't care anymore.
2. Brittany and Josh: I have no idea who you two are but I hope you two are still together. The graffiti on underside of the bridge seemed to indicate that you two would last "forever" and though I doubt it, the hopeless romantic in me can't help but cheer for you two. I just have to ask why spray paint it in yellow.
I don't have a huge issue with yellow but it's just not a real flattering color for much of anything in my mind. Yellow is associated with a lot of messes in the bathroom, if you catch my drift. To anyone else out there who wants to spray paint their names onto the underside of the bridge, please choose a different color than yellow. How about red?
3. Speaking of High Schoolers...: Apparently, there was some sort of field trip for a few high school kids today and a few of them made their way to the local Dairy Queen to get some grub. There were a number of high school girls out there and as I was running, I saw them giving me glances. Can't say I minded, but I found it odd.
Back in my day, the only glances from girls in high school I got were the "don't come near me" kind, lol. At any rate, I found the entire experience kind of weird.
4. Sidewalks in Front of Fast Food Places: Why do you put those there? I mean, seriously, why? Fast food places like Taco Bell, Hardees, and Pizza Hut have sidewalks in front of them that hardly get any use. The people who eat at the fast food places don't use the sidewalks, they drive there. The worst part is that a lot of people take their kids there to eat cause it's cheaper and the kids get screwed up food wise early.
And the sidewalks just sit there, unused. Rather than putting sidewalks in front of fast food restaurants, how about sticking them in local neighborhoods? I'd love to be able to run down a sidewalk in my neighborhood instead of the road. Let's just go ahead and stop wasting sidewalks on fast food places; people who eat there are likely to never use them.
5. I Need Some Crosswalks: I'm tired of dodging death on 231, 14 East, or other highways. We need some more crosswalks in order to promote people getting out and walking. In downtown it's not too bad but the city has grown to the point where a lot of people aren't as close to downtown anymore. I think a few crosswalks on the highways would be nice.
As much as I like the thrill rush of crossing the highway while cars blaze towards me, I can only play the odds so often.
6. Wow...I Ate Horribly Back in the Day: I took a walk down memory lane while I was at Walmart and surveyed some of my old standby foods. And by old I mean foods I used to eat a year ago. It's amazing the utterly horrible things I put in my body back in the day. The Walmart frozen foods section, with the White Castle burgers, the frozen burritos, the spicy chicken sandwiches, and more were just LOADED with carbs.
Eating like that should have killed me and nearly did. People, I cannot emphasize this enough, please look carefully at the nutritional information on the back of the boxes. It's actually important stuff.
7. Healthy Chips are...Basically the Same: I know that they charge nearly a buck more for the healthy chips and I know, that they're lower in calories or fat or carbs, but seriously, it's not that big a difference. I surveyed in depth the various regular brands vs their healthy counterparts and there's hardly any difference. If you're gonna buy chips just buy the regular ones folks, really. Healthy chips are like bottled water; a complete sham.
8. Penny's Are Unappreciated: I feel bad for the penny. It's disregarded easily, worth only a cent (realistically less), and always seems to be on the verge of being eliminated as a currency. I like penny's. Maybe it's the act of flipping them, maybe it's because I find them cooler than five dollar bills (you can't flip that...at least not well).
Whatever the case, I found a few of them on my trip out today and I flipped them in the air, keeping count of how they landed. The penny deserves some respect people. Without it, we'd never get that oh so valuable one cent back.
That's all my observations. Have a great day, thanks for reading.
1. Old Ladies Rock: As I was running in the downtown area today I got stopped by two old ladies out exercising. Both of them told me to get my butt back to school and to stop playing hooky. As you can imagine, I was kind of floored by that but my baby face, it does make me look like a high schooler. After explaining to the ladies that I was in fact five years removed from high school (they didn't believe me at first, took some convincing) and that I was out exercising, they apologized.
Nevertheless, I was quite impressed by the two old gals. Most people when they see a high schooler playing hooky wouldn't call them out but these old ladies aren't most people. Kids need to be in school and I'm glad there are still folks around that see that, even if most don't care anymore.
2. Brittany and Josh: I have no idea who you two are but I hope you two are still together. The graffiti on underside of the bridge seemed to indicate that you two would last "forever" and though I doubt it, the hopeless romantic in me can't help but cheer for you two. I just have to ask why spray paint it in yellow.
I don't have a huge issue with yellow but it's just not a real flattering color for much of anything in my mind. Yellow is associated with a lot of messes in the bathroom, if you catch my drift. To anyone else out there who wants to spray paint their names onto the underside of the bridge, please choose a different color than yellow. How about red?
3. Speaking of High Schoolers...: Apparently, there was some sort of field trip for a few high school kids today and a few of them made their way to the local Dairy Queen to get some grub. There were a number of high school girls out there and as I was running, I saw them giving me glances. Can't say I minded, but I found it odd.
Back in my day, the only glances from girls in high school I got were the "don't come near me" kind, lol. At any rate, I found the entire experience kind of weird.
4. Sidewalks in Front of Fast Food Places: Why do you put those there? I mean, seriously, why? Fast food places like Taco Bell, Hardees, and Pizza Hut have sidewalks in front of them that hardly get any use. The people who eat at the fast food places don't use the sidewalks, they drive there. The worst part is that a lot of people take their kids there to eat cause it's cheaper and the kids get screwed up food wise early.
And the sidewalks just sit there, unused. Rather than putting sidewalks in front of fast food restaurants, how about sticking them in local neighborhoods? I'd love to be able to run down a sidewalk in my neighborhood instead of the road. Let's just go ahead and stop wasting sidewalks on fast food places; people who eat there are likely to never use them.
5. I Need Some Crosswalks: I'm tired of dodging death on 231, 14 East, or other highways. We need some more crosswalks in order to promote people getting out and walking. In downtown it's not too bad but the city has grown to the point where a lot of people aren't as close to downtown anymore. I think a few crosswalks on the highways would be nice.
As much as I like the thrill rush of crossing the highway while cars blaze towards me, I can only play the odds so often.
6. Wow...I Ate Horribly Back in the Day: I took a walk down memory lane while I was at Walmart and surveyed some of my old standby foods. And by old I mean foods I used to eat a year ago. It's amazing the utterly horrible things I put in my body back in the day. The Walmart frozen foods section, with the White Castle burgers, the frozen burritos, the spicy chicken sandwiches, and more were just LOADED with carbs.
Eating like that should have killed me and nearly did. People, I cannot emphasize this enough, please look carefully at the nutritional information on the back of the boxes. It's actually important stuff.
7. Healthy Chips are...Basically the Same: I know that they charge nearly a buck more for the healthy chips and I know, that they're lower in calories or fat or carbs, but seriously, it's not that big a difference. I surveyed in depth the various regular brands vs their healthy counterparts and there's hardly any difference. If you're gonna buy chips just buy the regular ones folks, really. Healthy chips are like bottled water; a complete sham.
8. Penny's Are Unappreciated: I feel bad for the penny. It's disregarded easily, worth only a cent (realistically less), and always seems to be on the verge of being eliminated as a currency. I like penny's. Maybe it's the act of flipping them, maybe it's because I find them cooler than five dollar bills (you can't flip that...at least not well).
Whatever the case, I found a few of them on my trip out today and I flipped them in the air, keeping count of how they landed. The penny deserves some respect people. Without it, we'd never get that oh so valuable one cent back.
That's all my observations. Have a great day, thanks for reading.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Patience Is Key
"Patience is key," I say often. It's one of my most repeated phrases ("That's not gonna fly" would also be up there) and it's one I say just as much for others as for myself. I say this phrase a lot because it's a life lesson that I must CONSTANTLY relearn.
I've said this phrase to my siblings, my cousins, the various children I've taught in my various jobs over the years, and even to my friends. But this phrase means more to me than just a go to thing, it's a lesson and a good one. I was once again reminded of this last week when I was growing increasingly impatient with a lot of things.
When I get impatient, I tend to force things; I want to solve them myself, my way, and in my time. This was quite apparent during my two weeks of illness in late October/early November. I was told, repeatedly, by my friends to hit the doctor's office but I didn't. I waited for it to get better and when it didn't I forced things. That didn't exactly work out (I ended up in the hospital).
Now, you think with that lesson taught to me, I wouldn't have to have it taught to me again; but I did. This past week I was getting impatient and beginning to go into my "force things" mindset. As a friend of my calls it the "psycho" part of me. We all have the "psycho" parts of us, the parts of us that want something despite knowing it's not for the best. My "psycho" part was desperately wanting to force things hardcore. You'd think I'd know not to listen to it...but I was beginning to.
But I refused it and not more than a few hours later, I was rewarded for my patience by having a few issues I was growing impatient on resolve themselves. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? (not me)
So, the moral of this story is that patience is key. Sure, it's one of my most used phrases, sure, everyone who's been around me has heard me say it at least once, but it's still as true today as it was when I first started using this phrase, nearly a decade ago. Patience is key. It's important to realize that things will work on their on time table as the lord wills it.
I realize this. I ignore it a lot but that's because I'm stubborn. I'm also incredibly stupid when I get incredibly stubborn. Don't be like me in that respect, be better.
Remember folks, patience is key. It's applicable in every respect of life. Even the respects of life we'd rather it not be applicable in.
I've said this phrase to my siblings, my cousins, the various children I've taught in my various jobs over the years, and even to my friends. But this phrase means more to me than just a go to thing, it's a lesson and a good one. I was once again reminded of this last week when I was growing increasingly impatient with a lot of things.
When I get impatient, I tend to force things; I want to solve them myself, my way, and in my time. This was quite apparent during my two weeks of illness in late October/early November. I was told, repeatedly, by my friends to hit the doctor's office but I didn't. I waited for it to get better and when it didn't I forced things. That didn't exactly work out (I ended up in the hospital).
Now, you think with that lesson taught to me, I wouldn't have to have it taught to me again; but I did. This past week I was getting impatient and beginning to go into my "force things" mindset. As a friend of my calls it the "psycho" part of me. We all have the "psycho" parts of us, the parts of us that want something despite knowing it's not for the best. My "psycho" part was desperately wanting to force things hardcore. You'd think I'd know not to listen to it...but I was beginning to.
But I refused it and not more than a few hours later, I was rewarded for my patience by having a few issues I was growing impatient on resolve themselves. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? (not me)
So, the moral of this story is that patience is key. Sure, it's one of my most used phrases, sure, everyone who's been around me has heard me say it at least once, but it's still as true today as it was when I first started using this phrase, nearly a decade ago. Patience is key. It's important to realize that things will work on their on time table as the lord wills it.
I realize this. I ignore it a lot but that's because I'm stubborn. I'm also incredibly stupid when I get incredibly stubborn. Don't be like me in that respect, be better.
Remember folks, patience is key. It's applicable in every respect of life. Even the respects of life we'd rather it not be applicable in.
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